Today's words over at 3WW are: frantic, lurch and odor. Head on over to 3WW and check out all the others.
“The maintenance man noticed it first. Said he thought 3B’s fridge was on the fritz and the food inside spoiled.”
I nodded to the uniform standing in front of me, not really listening – I’d already heard the story from the two uni’s outside and the maintenance man himself. “So, who actually found the body?”
“Well, see Detective, that’s kinda a funny story - .”
“Oddly enough, I’m not here for the comedy hour, officer. Who the fuck found the body?” I managed to keep my voice low and not scream in the face of the newbie shuffling around in front of me.
“Sorry, ma’am. The next door neighbor’s dog found the body.”
“What? The dog?”
“Yes, ma’am. We’d just busted in the door to the apartment when the old woman next door opened her door to see what all the noise was and her yappy little dog ran out and straight into our crime scene, and right onto the body.”
“And nobody thought to stop the dog?” I could feel the blood rushing in my ears and a headache made itself known behind my right eye.
“Well, ma’am, he was fast.”
“Whatever.” I left him sputtering to a stop in the middle of the dingy hallway.
Two steps from the victim’s door, the odor hit me like a sledgehammer to the face. Jesus, whoever’s in there is frickin’ ripe.
“Well, hello, Detective.”
To my left stood the coroner - six and a half feet of skin and bones with a freakishly large nose. “Got any idea of when this one bit it?”
“I’d say about a week. Thermostat’s turned way up, so that sped up decomp. And then there was an unfortunate incident with the neighbor’s dog.” He gestured to a place on the vic’s cheek that had a chunk missing. “Guess the little pooch was hungry.”
I turned and slowly surveyed the room. Someone had trashed the place. “Maybe an interrupted burglary?”
“Maybe.” I could hear the frantic yipping of the neighbor’s dog through the thin apartment walls. “Or, maybe she offed herself. Couldn’t stand listening to that damn mutt any longer.”
“Doubt it. She was strangled.”
I looked at him and raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to go on. When he didn’t, I counted to ten and reminded myself to breathe. “So, got anything else for me?”
He looked up from the body and leered at me. There really was no other word for it, other than creepy and disgusting. “Honey, I sure do have something else for you.”
I spun on my heel and walked away when he grabbed his crotch. “Fuck off, Lurch.”
His laughter followed me into the hallway. Just another fun filled Monday morning.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
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12 comments:
That was quite a tale. Enjoyed it.
Hopefully, this is just the start of something bigger. I really liked the pace of this.
You can't end it there! I hope you use next week's words to give us chapter 2.
You've created a powerful character with a strong voice.
I want to know more about the dog; he seems like he could be integral to the action rather than just a nuisance.
Agree with Peggy and Thom. Would love to see more of this story, especially the dog. Although I do like the sleazy coroner!
I really like the strength in the characters you created. There is certainly enough mystery here for a longer story. Looking forward to reading more.
You caught my attention...I loved the toughness of the main female character. Very clever use of "Lurch"! I want to know what happens next...
it was like one of the TV series' you hv - the law and order ones...
was a good detective story, like others I too ask, will it continue?:)
Great story. I agree, you really built the characters well. I love how you wove the humor in.
Invitation to Flight
law & order has nothing compared to this
Hoping there's more coming - this is strong writing. Well formed characters! Good read...
Yeah, I thought it read like a tv show too!
Nicely
I love this tough female character. I'm interested in seeing what you do next with this :)
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