3WW

I am going to try to do 3 Word Wednesday. This week's words are: crumple, illicit and nerve. Here goes nothing!

Sarah crumpled to the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks. Blue eyes, piercing as a laser watched her from across the room.

“You’ve done it this time.” Marcus paced from one end of the room to the other, his steps soundless on the plush carpet. “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”

“How? Who told you?” She scrubbed her hands across her face.

“Does it matter? I know about your affair. After the last time, I thought you would have learned your lesson, but I guess I was wrong.” Light sparkled off the glass he filled with bourbon. “I’m done. I’m taking the kids and filing for a divorce.”

“You can’t do that.”

“I can’t? Sarah, honey, save the drama for your career, not our living room.”

“I’ll be crucified in the press.”

“I know. I can already see the headlines. TV’s Top Mom Embroiled in Illicit Affair.” His chuckle was bitter.

“Don’t do this to me. I won’t allow you to take my children.” Sarah pushed herself off the floor and shoved a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

“You have some nerve, lady. I’ve been the perfect celebrity husband for you for ten years. I stood behind you when you got in trouble with the IRS, I was there for you when you had to go into rehab for your little cocaine problem, hell, I even stayed after the first affair, but not any more. This is the last time I’ll play the forgiving husband role.”

The slamming door sounded like a gunshot in her ears. She watched as the bourbon left in his glass stilled before following him out the door.

Weird Wednesday

Today is critique day… I’m actually really excited this time. I’ve got about 22 pages ready. I’m so glad I put the other manuscript away and started work on this one. Maybe in six months I can go back and pick it up with fresh eyes and make it happen.

It has been an eventful week for me. I got a lot written, I did our taxes, wrote another article and read a little. Good news though, we are getting a decent refund on our taxes this year. Not as much as I had hoped, but it’s not a sharp stick in the eye.

Where do phrases like that come from? I’ve heard some weird ones lately…

Better than a sharp stick in the eye. - I guess that means it is a good thing, because I’d be all ready to kick some booty if someone put a sharp stick in my eye, well, after I got serious medical attention.

Useless as tits on a boar hog. (I really hate this one.) – Not good for anything, because the boar is the male of the species and we all know that the female feeds the young and is FAR superior than the male. Heh! That makes me giggle.

Lazy as a turd in a whale. – This must be extremely lazy, because the digestive tract in a whale is huge.

Lasts as long as a fart in a whirlwind. – Not long I’m assuming. Wind speed and all that.

These two came from Ande

Take a flying leap at a rolling donut. – Really? I don’t get it… Someone else will have to explain this one to me.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him turn on the faucet. – Nope, they don’t have thumbs…

These two came from Shannon

Your ass is grass and I’m the lawnmower. – This makes me think of M. Night Shamalan…

Is that clear as mud? – Umm… sure.

Slicker than bull snot. – Just gross.

Karin sent me these two:

Hotter than two rats having sex in a wool sock.

Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

I think all of these are hilarious, but I would love to know who the first person to say them was. Can you imagine the looks he/she got?

Any others out there? I’d love to hear them!