Friday, July 17, 2009

The Mystery of Life

Why is it that every time I feel like I just can't fight any longer, something happens and changes my life.

As some of you know, hubby and I have been trying to adopt for a while now. The process is slow and ultimatly painful at times, but we hadn't given up. When we first started out, we were positive that we could never be a foster home. How could we ever give a child that we'd grown to love back to someone that had hurt them?

Time went by and we worked with foster homes and the AMAZING foster families in our area. Still not totally convinced we waited, praying we would find the right child for us.

Sometimes, I get discouraged too easily, I know that, hubby knows that, everyone I know, knows that. I was truly afraid we would never find a child that was right for us. So, hubby and I started talking about fostering. It was still just a thought, we weren't totally committed to the idea, but we were thinking about it.

Just about the time we decided to maybe take the chance, God took over our lives.

On Wednesday, two days ago, our adoption caseworker emailed me at 4:45. There was a two year old little boy up for adoption, no mental problems, no physical problems, no real medical problems. The catch, no photo and he had to be placed by the end of the week. Were we interested?

I called hubby. We agreed that yes, this is the one we've been looking for. I called our caseworker and told her yes, yes, yes. We want him. I didn't hear from her again that night.

Fast forward to Thursday. I email our caseworker to ask some questions. Her response. The other social worker has narrowed it down to us and one other couple. It may be a while before we know anything. That was 9:00 am.

At 11:15, I check my cell phone for the millionth time, and I have a voicemail. It's our caseworker. the message: Congratulations. Your son will be in your home on Saturday.

Euphoria quickly turned to panic. It is now Friday. In 24 hours, I will be a mother of a two year old. I'm scared, excited, freaked out, terrified and totally unprepared.

Wish us luck.