Friday, October 17, 2008

Its Been Three Weeks

Three whole weeks since I blogged. Sorry. It's been a tough few weeks too.

I went to read for a new critique group on Monday the 6th. Great people, all of them. Karin keeps me motivated and Travis keeps reminding me that yes, it's hard, but worth it. So, anyway, to be polite I left my cell phone in Karin's car so that I didn't get a phone call and interrupt the group. My hubby knew I was with Karin, but since I didn't know where we were going, I didn't tell him.

About 8:30 the group broke up and Karin and I headed out. I pulled my handy-dandy cell phone out of my purse and saw that I had 29 missed calls. Surely, something had to be wrong with my phone. Maybe it was registering all the missed calls I'd had for, oh, the last year. The evil thing rang almost immediately. Karin and I were laughing and joking when I answered. It was my mother. Screaming at me.

She was in South Carolina, taking care of my grandfather who was very ill. My dad had been in a serious accident on his way home from work (at around 6:30). The 29 missed calls were from all of our family and friends who couldn't find me to rush to the hospital to take care of my dad. My mom was in another state, both of my brothers were hours away. Thank God, one of my parents' friends went to my house, got my hubby and took him to the hospital to stay with dad.

Needless to say, even though I am a trained Emergency Medical Technician, I FREAKED OUT. This is my dad we're talking about people! So, rushed to the Emergency Room, took care of my dad - waking him every hour, keeping up with his pain pills, etc., until mom could fly back in from South Carolina. That was last Monday.

On Wednesday, I found out that my brother-in-law and his wife are pregnant. Now, for a rational adult that would be wonderful news. For me, not so much. If you know me, you know I can't procreate. Hubby and I are looking into the foster/adopt program, but it all takes time. Lots of really crappy emotions are involved in all that, and I get really down when I think about it. So, not a good day there, either. (Why is everyone pregnant right now, by the way? I swear it must be in the water.)

Then, Fateful Friday. It had been a really long week with little or no sleep on most nights. My mom called and noon. My grandfather had passed away. Now, I'd held it together the whole week. Didn't cry, didn't blow up at anyone. If I was pissed or scared or depressed, I just bluffed my way through it. She called me at work and I couldn't shut the flood gates. I quietly snuck past my co-workers to the bathroom and tried to calm down and pull myself together. That didn't work, so I went outside and smoked (I know, I know, I'm really trying to quit, but sometimes... ya know.), that didn't work. I was headed back to my office (okay, so it is a cubicle) and my boss stopped me and asked if I was all right. I lost it. I started crying and couldn't stop. He just looked at me and said, "Just go home. We'll deal with it Monday." So, I did.

This week I have been trying to recover, and so far, so good. The fun news is that I have to go and get drunk at the police station tonight, then tomorrow morning they are giving me a gun with live ammo to shoot... You'd think they were smarter than that, LOL!

I hope you all have a great weekend and I will try to get better at this whole blogging thing! Lots of love!

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