Thursday, December 11, 2008

Myspace…The Great Confessor

Why do people think that posting everything about their lives on Myspace is a good idea? Who actually thinks, “Hmmm, my wife is going to leave me and I told her I would kill myself if she did, what can I do? Oh, I know. I’ll post a blog about how horrible our life is on Myspace and get pity from all of my friends and family!” WTF?!?

No, this wasn’t me, or my husband or anyone in my family (THANK GOD!), but it is a very dear friend of mine.

I went to Critique Group last night… had a fairly good time (even though I didn’t get a darn thing written this week… okay, I did, but I started all over AGAIN), come home, and hubby looks like…well, almost guilty. I figured he’d been out Christmas shopping and found something he couldn’t live without and bought it. Wondering what the damage to the bank account was, I innocently ask, “What’s up? You look like you need to tell me something.”

Sometimes you have to approach men like scared children. I smiled my still only half a smile, and patted his arm reassuringly. He told me he’d been messing with his Myspace page and saw that a friend of ours had changed his status and sounded really depressed. So, he went to said friends page and saw that there was a new blog posted and the title sounded depressing. And, since Myspace is the universal ‘let’s snoop into people’s lives’ place, he read the blog. It worried him a lot. So, he told me to go and read the blog and then call my friend – the blogger’s wife.

I took my big bowl of ice cream with me, knowing I was going to need it (not being much of a drinker), and sat down at the computer. I loaded the offending page and began to read, and read, and read. I was shocked at what had been left there for all the world to see. The things he just so casually mentioned that NO ONE else has the right to know, that NO ONE needs to ever see.

I was furious.

Then, the reply to the post. It had been left by my friend’s sister. It was all I could do not to pick up the phone, call her and tell her that she was my hero. She blasted him, in a nice way, but still really put him in his place. I was in tears by the time I finished reading it. Her response made me wish I had a sister, but I know my brothers would be just as ‘to the point.’

So, I did what any self respecting friend would do. I put on my heavy coat (it was freaking cold outside last night), grabbed my cell phone and my cigarettes (yes, I know they are bad for me, but so is stress and chocolate), and called the brat that hadn’t called me to let me know what was going on.

She answered in tears because she knew it was me and instantly all the anger was gone. I understood why she hadn’t let me help, it is hard to admit defeat, I know that. So, while she sat in her car in the Wal Mart parking lot and chain smoked, and I sat on my broke ass chair on the front porch and smoked with her, we talked for almost two hours. We laughed, we cried and we made a lunch date.

I haven’t been to the town she lives in, in years. To be totally honest, I don’t know if I even remember how to get there from where I live, but I have access to a GPS and I know how to use it dang it. So, Saturday morning, I’m going to drive an hour to a town that holds a LOT of bad memories for me, hold my precious friends hand, buy her lunch, hell I may take her to get a pedicure, too. Sometimes, you just need a girly day with a friend. I’m not worried about her, though. She is an amazingly strong woman who has two beautiful sons. I miss her joy though. When we were growing up together, she was such a happy person. Always had a smile on her face. I haven’t seen her smile in a very long time, that bothers me.

So, I will make the trip, buy the lunch, spring for the pedicure (or whatever we decide to do), and try to make her smile, at least for a little while. Because as stressful as my life is sometimes, I want to bring joy and happiness to people. That’s what makes me happy. And as bad as I feel about things and how life poop’s on me, I know I am incredibly lucky. I have a home, a car, a job, a little money in the bank, a family that loves me whether I write porn or not, and the biggest blessing of all is my awesome husband, who understands why I have to make the trip this weekend alone. And even though he will worry about me, he knows that she needs me and I need to help her.

How amazing is he? I don’t know if I’ve ever known the kind of love he gives me each second of every minute of every single day. He is my rock, my heart and everything I could ask for.

Okay, sorry, I got a little sappy there, but seeing what is happening with my friend makes me all that more grateful for what I have.

P.S. – I was feeling all lovey dovey just now and about to tell my husband what an amazing man he is… Then he sent me a link to a “Deluxe Star Wars Jedi Robe”. Now, I’m suddenly thinking about the fact that sometimes you have to think of husbands as naughty children. I love that man, I love that man!


Barbara Martin said...

Crystal, you are a friend, indeed.

Travis Erwin said...

Everyone should be so luck as to have a friend of your caliber.