Wednesday, April 22, 2009

3WW Treachery

The prompts at 3WW today are deceit, indulge and oath. I don't know why every Wednesday I am inspired to write about killing someone, but I am. I really don't think I'm a psychotic serial killer. This writing technique, using the last word of the prior sentence to begin the next sentence, was something that we talked about at a writing conference I went to last year. I haven't done a lot with it, but I wanted to today. For more fiction and some amazing poetry check out 3WW. Here is my submission for the week.

Your deceit – your damn treachery – led me to this. This - because you couldn’t just let her go. Go away - how could she have been more important than the mother of your children? Children you swore to love. Love is your unfulfilled promise. Promise - it makes me want to laugh or cry – I’m not sure. Sure, you swore, but your solemn oath isn’t worth the time it took you to work up a fake tear and pledge to me that you wouldn’t see her again. Again you couldn’t help but indulge yourself, could you? You and her in our bed. The bed we created our precious children in. In that bed, I thought we loved, you and I. I could have handled it if you had just taken her and left. Left me alone to try to piece my life back together. Together, the two of you could have made a new life. Life that didn’t include me, or the hurt you left. Left me to hate you, but I still want you. You made this choice. Choices are all I have left of our life. A life that you shattered. Shattered like the mirror behind you did when I fired the gun. The gun that you bought me to protect myself, the children, our home. Our home is defiled – the floor covered in blood. Blood pouring from you. You made me kill you.

15 comments:

ThomG said...

Should I be concerned that my words are causing you to write darkly? Fear not, as this was an interesting exercise in writing. You get to the end and feel the angst. Starting the next sentence with the last word pushes that along.

anthonynorth said...

Loved the ending to this, and the word repeats work perfectly.

Daily Panic said...

Crime of Passion! I like it. I watch the show "snapped" a little too much... maybe someone should be concerned... just kidding.
Excellent word repeating. It does add to the manic of the situation, and build intensity of what is going on in her head.
I might try this sometime.

pia said...

Loved the word repetition--and how it builds up to the end

gautami tripathy said...

Nothing wrong with dark writings. I indulge in it a lot.

Delicious ending!

gyrating on its own steam of oath

Life without Clots said...

it's therapeutic...

Lucy said...

haha! I don't know what I love more.. the fact that you opened by saying 3ww inspires you to write about killing someone!! OR your writing technique using the last word first.
Is there a name to this writing technique?? I would like to try it one day!
I really loved this story and I loved that she shot the cheating bastard!
SO happy I visited u!! :))

Crystal Phares said...

Thom, don't be too concerned that your words inspire the evil in me... unless you hear...well, never mind!

Thanks, Anthony, Panic, Pia, Guatami and Life.

Lucy, I can't remember the name of the technique to save me. I just remember two hours of writing practices doing this (repitition), runons, and and/but/or/nor/then/when sentences. (You make incredibly long sentences using every conjunction possible. Great fun, hard to do and keep the integrity of the sentence.)

KLo said...

Interesting stuff : ) You definitely have a way with words!

Lynnette Labelle said...

I love it. Always the victim's fault. LOL

Lynnette Labelle
http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com

Witchmojo said...

Sometimes I think these words give us a chance to vent some of the darker corners of our minds and better to do it via the medium of words than actions. Not that I am implying you would ever kill someone I hasten to add. Just that all of us need to get rid of the darkness occasionally :)
I enjoyed this piece very much.

sudharm baxi said...

Dark dark ending..
And that style of writing - pretty unique.

maglomaniac said...

You made me kill you.
Wonderful.
I love morbid writing

~Harsha

Angel said...

Nicely done. I love dark pieces, so keep them coming!

Travis Erwin said...

The MTM post is up.