Weird Wednesday

Today is critique day… I’m actually really excited this time. I’ve got about 22 pages ready. I’m so glad I put the other manuscript away and started work on this one. Maybe in six months I can go back and pick it up with fresh eyes and make it happen.

It has been an eventful week for me. I got a lot written, I did our taxes, wrote another article and read a little. Good news though, we are getting a decent refund on our taxes this year. Not as much as I had hoped, but it’s not a sharp stick in the eye.

Where do phrases like that come from? I’ve heard some weird ones lately…

Better than a sharp stick in the eye. - I guess that means it is a good thing, because I’d be all ready to kick some booty if someone put a sharp stick in my eye, well, after I got serious medical attention.

Useless as tits on a boar hog. (I really hate this one.) – Not good for anything, because the boar is the male of the species and we all know that the female feeds the young and is FAR superior than the male. Heh! That makes me giggle.

Lazy as a turd in a whale. – This must be extremely lazy, because the digestive tract in a whale is huge.

Lasts as long as a fart in a whirlwind. – Not long I’m assuming. Wind speed and all that.

These two came from Ande

Take a flying leap at a rolling donut. – Really? I don’t get it… Someone else will have to explain this one to me.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him turn on the faucet. – Nope, they don’t have thumbs…

These two came from Shannon

Your ass is grass and I’m the lawnmower. – This makes me think of M. Night Shamalan…

Is that clear as mud? – Umm… sure.

Slicker than bull snot. – Just gross.

Karin sent me these two:

Hotter than two rats having sex in a wool sock.

Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

I think all of these are hilarious, but I would love to know who the first person to say them was. Can you imagine the looks he/she got?

Any others out there? I’d love to hear them!